Booze News

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8367141.stm

Hurrah!
Choice quotes:
"For those drinking little - less than a shot of vodka a day for instance - the risk was reduced by 35%. And for those who drank anything from three shots to more than 11 shots each day, the risk worked out an average of 50% less."

I see no limit on the "more than 11....", which is nice.

and:
"
The type of alcohol drunk did not seem to make a difference, but protection was greater for those drinking moderate to high amounts of varied drinks. "
So, go get steamed. Mix 'em, it's good for you. Lovely!

Shame the distaff side don't reap the benefits of a good bender, though:

"The same benefits were not seen in women"

Oh. But that's ok because:
"[they] suffer fewer heart problems than men to start with. Researchers speculated this difference could be down to the fact that women process alcohol differently, and that female hormones protect against the disease in younger age groups."
So, smug points +100 but hey, hormones or alcohol? Hmmm I know which I'd rather be saddled with...

Thoughts on Women

If I knew the source of this list, I'd tell you. If you do, let me know and I'll attribute it.


When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas

You know that look women get in their eye when they want sex? Me neither.
Steve Martin

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henry Youngman

The only food that permanently destroys a woman's sex drive? Wedding cake.
Anon Jewish proverb

“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.”
P.J. O’Rourke

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henry Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Anon

Oh the Iron(y)*

The missus went over to NornIron last week for a few days to cat-sit for a friend.
Having a troll around the rather lovely Banbridge, she spotted this sign in Tourist Information which I think probably means something different now from what it may have done back in the day...


* See what I did there?

Stupid, stupid woman.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8282626.stm

Harriet manages to publicise a website which I would imagine was only known about by the cognoscenti and now every curious schoolkid will be scanning voraciously for details of local slags.
Way to go you shrivelled up, joyless, hatchet-arsed, sanctimonious, abstemious old munter!

Wonder if she's been snooping on Jack's PC while he's been out?

PS local field reports seem to imply that my $LOCALE has a few active knocking shops; I'd be surprised if any punters would bother getting out of their cars having seen the dealers, dogshit, graffiti and decay infesting some of the back streets (and not a few of the main ones!)

Doggerel?

Something I'm working on ( © me ).
Is it worth bothering with/should I cease & desist forthwith?


As Ever
As ever, we're bound by the shackles of our prejudices
And as ever, we don't know this.
We see through our fingers
And only glimpse what filters through.

As ever, we're bowed by the weight of our inhibitions
And as ever, we simply hunch.
We lift with our backs
And wonder why our legs are aching.

As ever, we're informed by sources that please us
And as ever, we negate those that don't.
We read through a sieve
And ignore the small, lost grains.

Pissed old git dead.

Hmmm - “Floyd just wanted to cook, eat well, get a bit pissed, make enough money to maintain his somewhat hedonsitic lifestyle and enjoy himself. Don’t we all?"

Well, I would contend that "live a lot longer than 65 years" would have also featured on that list if anyone had actually asked him. And he had no cash to continue being hedonistic because (yet another) ex-wife was fleecing him for his last sou. Plus from the programme about him last week his very self-awareness that he had turned into an obnoxious, arrogant pisshead and irretrievable cunt was palpable in his every sweaty, laboured, dying breath. His self-loathing was bountifully evident in his demeanour after he told his daughter - who he hadn't seen or contacted in 10 years - to "shut your fucking face" at their reunion dinner. Giles Coren has it right (as ever) here:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/giles_coren/article6840628.ece

(apologies for duplication - this is a reply I'd posted on Steve Shark's blog ( here)

My webcam (if it's running!)

Les Paul - cheers, mate.

Just heard he's died. Here's a lovely little movie:

The guitar was actually out of production when Eric Clapton recorded this

with John Mayall - a year or so later it became the biggest selling guitar of all time. Have a listen - at 0:57 you start hearing something no-one had used before; feedback. A killer signature lick at 1:11 and then from 1:22 a solo that still brings the hair on the back of your arms to attention.

Cheers, mate. We owe you.

Why boys need their parents - part 5 of an occasional series

or: "More fun with electricity"!

Holy shit/fun with electricity

I'm doing up the kitchen.
This of necessity involves loads of hacking and destruction, which is nice.
Part of said hacking has included removing the old floor and wall units and chipping off of tiles; behind one of the floor units was a mains socket suppying power to the downlighting from the wall units.
Having removed the units and tiles, here's how I found the socket had been wired in:


Nice, eh!