tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61820227052721853962024-03-13T17:03:29.642+00:00Heart Attack Survivor's thoughtsOccasional rants of a survivor.
Warning: tested on animals.
<p>
My life is driven by the ancient mantra "The dignity of the Retarded"</p>HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-11670386012512760362011-06-07T11:32:00.000+01:002011-06-07T11:32:05.577+01:00Hamfisted Brass 'n' SteelShitty old HP laptop builtin mic, Fender Stratacoustic, open 'D', brass slide. Bit messy...<br />
<object data="http://boos.audioboo.fm/swf/fullsize_player.swf" height="129" id="boo_embed_378489" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400"><param name="movie" value="http://boos.audioboo.fm/swf/fullsize_player.swf" /><param name="scale" value="noscale" /><param name="salign" value="lt" /><param name="bgColor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><param name="wmode" value="window" /><param name="FlashVars" value="mp3Time=10.22am+07+Jun+2011&mp3=http%3A%2F%2Faudioboo.fm%2Fboos%2F378489-hamfisted-brass-n-steel-1.mp3%3Fsource%3Dembed&mp3Author=hasurvivor&mp3LinkURL=http%3A%2F%2Faudioboo.fm%2Fboos%2F378489-hamfisted-brass-n-steel-1&rootID=boo_embed_378489&mp3Title=Hamfisted+Brass+%27n%27+Steel+%231" /><a href="http://audioboo.fm/boos/378489-hamfisted-brass-n-steel-1.mp3?source=embed">Listen!</a></object>HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-88266699318996972862010-05-11T10:44:00.001+01:002010-05-11T10:44:51.073+01:00Read this.This guy makes so much sense it hurts. Warning: techy. Nothing to see here if you don't know what a DBA is. <a href=http://blog.markrendle.net/> Mark Rendle's Blog</a><br />
<br />
PS I used to work with him. He's an arrogant, self-satisfied cunt with the biggest heart in the world (although he'll deny it) but prodigiously intelligent. I might even forgive him one day for smoking Gerald, my doobie plant, while I was in Malta.HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-49310919238585507132010-03-30T17:00:00.002+01:002010-03-30T19:13:49.100+01:00A brief ditty on the Palace of WestminsterKnocked this up in half an hour or so - I was listening to the inimitable Tom Lehrer's "The Elements" song.<br />
Needs the rough edges knocking off it but it's a start; more verses to be added if the muse takes me (ooh Matron!)<br />
<br />
There's lobbying and bullying and thieving and there's avarice<br />
There's haegemonies empire building little hitlers, cowardice<br />
There's back-stabbing and dirty deeds and people filling dirty needs<br />
and money changing hands behind the doors within the palace.<br />
<br />
There's blockheads and there's dunderheads and absolute stupidity<br />
There's fawning and there's toadying and out and out vapidity<br />
There's members building empires and there's some with mansions in the shires<br />
and some who make you gasp aloud with stagg'ring vacuosity<br />
<br />
There's squabbling, fighting, name-calling and acts which bring opprobium<br />
There's internecine plots which cause a modicum of odium<br />
There's nose-pickers and lardy-arsed old poofs who'll try to make a pass<br />
and orators who never can be dragged from off the podium<br />
<br />
There's some who's progeny don't know by which sod they've been fathered<br />
There's some who only want your cash so their nest can be feathered<br />
And those who have no spinal nerve and salaries they don't deserve<br />
and that's as much as I can do - I really can't be botheredHeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-41504266617130997692010-03-29T10:11:00.000+01:002010-03-29T10:11:54.660+01:00La Toynbee talks sense shockerI rarely do political posts. There are others far more perceptive, perspicacious and downright *bothered* than I, and do it better than I could ever manage to. Possibly because I have a life and no anger management issues hence don't spend most of my working day venting my spleen all over the blogosphere (oh god did I just say "blogosphere"?).<br />
Anyway.<br />
I heard Polly Toynbee say something sensible this morning on R4. No really.<br />
She said (something along the lines of) the Gordon Brown factor no longer being a millstone around the Labour Party's neck; because "the public already hate him and it's impossible to hate him any more than he is hated already. So it's no longer an issue in the runup to the election".<br />
So anything else (DC being a tit, for instance) can only be a bonus.HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-80470298261212197352010-02-26T20:34:00.002+00:002010-02-26T20:37:30.025+00:00Myth Busted!...pretty rough stuff:<br /><a href=http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm200910/cmselect/cmsctech/memo/climatedata/uc3902.htm> http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm200910/cmselect/cmsctech/memo/climatedata/uc3902.htm </a><br /><quotes><br />1. The Institute is concerned that, unless the disclosed e-mails are proved to be forgeries or adaptations, worrying implications arise for the integrity of scientific research in this field and for the credibility of the scientific method as practised in this context.<br />2. The CRU e-mails as published on the internet provide prima facie evidence of determined and co-ordinated refusals to comply with honourable scientific traditions and freedom of information law. The principle that scientists should be willing to expose their ideas and results to independent testing and replication by others, which requires the open exchange of data, procedures and materials, is vital. The lack of compliance has been confirmed by the findings of the Information Commissioner. This extends well beyond the CRU itself - most of the e-mails were exchanged with researchers in a number of other international institutions who are also involved in the formulation of the IPCC's conclusions on climate change.<br /><br />6. There is also reason for concern at the intolerance to challenge displayed in the e-mails. This impedes the process of scientific 'self correction', which is vital to the integrity of the scientific process<br /><br /></quotes><br /><br />...in the words of the great philosopher Jimmy Cricket, "and there's more".<br /><br />A scientific consensus? I don't think so. The truth is coming out, slowly and painfully. The mythxxxxxscam is, in the words of the equally great philosophers Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman, "busted".HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-35193193626626549842010-01-05T16:35:00.001+00:002010-01-05T16:39:40.462+00:00WTF?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6FwQiEyUrOoniO9_KVrNTJfanPvQ7bpHazYoZbUhs9mBUpJeah_Z3D8ZfuEYvjxuFV_swBpjtiid-ZWuhIUyUXSUoszP8tyF7ZD0nlWGzXXIdkGR-dUh2Q-x0gDDxI-gretono3-HT5o/s1600-h/dp.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6FwQiEyUrOoniO9_KVrNTJfanPvQ7bpHazYoZbUhs9mBUpJeah_Z3D8ZfuEYvjxuFV_swBpjtiid-ZWuhIUyUXSUoszP8tyF7ZD0nlWGzXXIdkGR-dUh2Q-x0gDDxI-gretono3-HT5o/s320/dp.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5423296239950792882" /></a><br />Google autocomplete - errrr?HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-52209166195576999162009-11-19T11:19:00.002+00:002009-11-19T11:23:06.848+00:00Booze Newshttp://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8367141.stm<br /><br />Hurrah!<br />Choice quotes:<br />"For those drinking little - less than a shot of vodka a day for instance - the risk was reduced by 35%. And for those who drank anything from three shots to more than 11 shots each day, the risk worked out an average of 50% less."<br /><br />I see no limit on the "more than 11....", which is nice.<br /><br />and:<br />"<br />The type of alcohol drunk did not seem to make a difference, but protection was greater for those drinking moderate to high amounts of varied drinks. "<br />So, go get steamed. Mix 'em, it's good for you. Lovely!<br /><br />Shame the distaff side don't reap the benefits of a good bender, though:<br /><br />"The same benefits were not seen in women"<br /><br />Oh. But that's ok because:<br />"[they] suffer fewer heart problems than men to start with. Researchers speculated this difference could be down to the fact that women process alcohol differently, and that female hormones protect against the disease in younger age groups."<br />So, smug points +100 but hey, hormones or alcohol? Hmmm I know which I'd rather be saddled with...HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-5378465703308950542009-11-17T15:01:00.007+00:002009-11-17T15:52:09.607+00:00Thoughts on Women<font size=1 color=red><span style="font-style:italic;">If I knew the source of this list, I'd tell you. If you do, let me know and I'll attribute it.</span></font><br /><br /><font color=yellow><br />When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.</font> <br /><font color=green size=1>Sacha Guitry</font><br /><font color=yellow><br />After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.</font><br /><font color=green size=1>Hemant Joshi</font><br /><font color=yellow><br />By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.</font> <br /><font color=green size=1>Socrates</font><br /><font color=yellow> <br />Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.</font> <br /><font color=green size=1>Dumas</font><br /><font color=yellow> <br />You know that look women get in their eye when they want sex? Me neither.</font> <br /><font color=green size=1>Steve Martin</font><br /><font color=yellow> <br />I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.</font> <br /><font color=green size=1>Anonymous</font><br /><font color=yellow> <br />"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."</font> <br /><font color=green size=1>Henry Youngman</font><br /><font color=yellow><br />The only food that permanently destroys a woman's sex drive? Wedding cake.</font><br /><font color=green size=1>Anon Jewish proverb</font><br /><font color=yellow><br />“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.”</font><br /><font color=green size=1>P.J. O’Rourke</font><br /><font color=yellow><br />"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."</font> <br /><font color=green size=1>Sam Kinison</font><br /><font color=yellow><br />"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."</font> <br /><font color=green size=1>James Holt McGavran</font><br /><font color=yellow><br />"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."</font> <br /><font color=green size=1>Patrick Murray</font><br /><font color=yellow><br />Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:<br />1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,<br />2. Whenever you're right, shut up.</font> <br /><font color=green size=1>Nash</font><br /><font color=yellow><br />The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...</font> <br /><font color=green size=1>Anonymous</font><br /><font color=yellow> <br />You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.</font> <br /><font color=green size=1>Henry Youngman</font><br /><font color=yellow><br />My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met.</font> <br /><font color=green size=1>Rodney Dangerfield</font><br /><font color=yellow><br />A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.</font> <br /><font color=green size=1>Milton Berle</font><br /><font color=yellow><br />Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.</font> <br /><font color=green size=1>Anonymous</font><br /><font color=yellow><br />A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."</font> <br /><font color=green size=1>Anonymous</font><br /><font color=yellow><br />First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"<br />Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."</font><br /><font color=green size=1>Anon</font>HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-12008378816890871892009-11-04T10:37:00.003+00:002009-11-04T10:42:09.387+00:00Oh the Iron(y)*The missus went over to NornIron last week for a few days to cat-sit for a friend.<br />Having a troll around the rather lovely Banbridge, she spotted this sign in Tourist Information which I think probably means something different now from what it may have done back in the day...<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgblLCKIuhmS2c9BWOiPKqPQENmdE544rdBk6EXd8-UWKTbeL2L_RNgOKJoE2zvigxrNrUd6sCjuY9dOySzT9LMxwtObl9ByOfF0a-une7ofqov8-luh5LAKMoLZMMjplqnDi3aztWQzt4/s1600-h/DSCF1431.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgblLCKIuhmS2c9BWOiPKqPQENmdE544rdBk6EXd8-UWKTbeL2L_RNgOKJoE2zvigxrNrUd6sCjuY9dOySzT9LMxwtObl9ByOfF0a-une7ofqov8-luh5LAKMoLZMMjplqnDi3aztWQzt4/s320/DSCF1431.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5400196445868481858" /></a><br /><br /><font size=small>* See what I did there?</font>HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-66130844471625223662009-10-01T09:21:00.005+01:002009-10-01T10:12:05.256+01:00Stupid, stupid woman.http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8282626.stm<br /><br />Harriet manages to publicise a website which I would imagine was only known about by the cognoscenti and now every curious schoolkid will be scanning voraciously for details of local slags.<br />Way to go you shrivelled up, joyless, hatchet-arsed, sanctimonious, abstemious old munter!<br /><br />Wonder if she's been snooping on Jack's PC while he's been out?<br /><br />PS local field reports seem to imply that my $LOCALE has a few active knocking shops; I'd be surprised if any punters would bother getting out of their cars having seen the dealers, dogshit, graffiti and decay infesting some of the back streets (and not a few of the main ones!)HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-21808327287057091762009-09-28T15:56:00.004+01:002009-09-28T16:07:22.483+01:00Doggerel?Something I'm working on ( © me ).<br />Is it worth bothering with/should I cease & desist forthwith?<br /><br /><br /><b>As Ever</b><br />As ever, we're bound by the shackles of our prejudices<br />And as ever, we don't know this.<br />We see through our fingers<br />And only glimpse what filters through.<br /><br />As ever, we're bowed by the weight of our inhibitions<br />And as ever, we simply hunch.<br />We lift with our backs<br />And wonder why our legs are aching.<br /><br />As ever, we're informed by sources that please us<br />And as ever, we negate those that don't.<br />We read through a sieve<br />And ignore the small, lost grains.HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-62226472215662344422009-09-24T09:26:00.003+01:002009-09-24T10:10:11.190+01:00Pissed old git dead.Hmmm - “Floyd just wanted to cook, eat well, get a bit pissed, make enough money to maintain his somewhat hedonsitic lifestyle and enjoy himself. Don’t we all?"<br /><br />Well, I would contend that "live a lot longer than 65 years" would have also featured on that list if anyone had actually asked him. And he had no cash to continue being hedonistic because (yet another) ex-wife was fleecing him for his last sou. Plus from the programme about him last week his very self-awareness that he had turned into an obnoxious, arrogant pisshead and irretrievable cunt was palpable in his every sweaty, laboured, dying breath. His self-loathing was bountifully evident in his demeanour after he told his daughter - who he hadn't seen or contacted in 10 years - to "shut your fucking face" at their reunion dinner. Giles Coren has it right (as ever) here:<br /><br /><a href=http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/giles_coren/article6840628.ece> http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/giles_coren/article6840628.ece</a><br /><br />(apologies for duplication - this is a reply I'd posted on Steve Shark's blog (<a href=http://steveshark.wordpress.com/2009/09/15/pink-floyd-dead/> here</a>)HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-39051983369139140512009-09-09T10:03:00.000+01:002009-09-09T10:04:54.229+01:00My webcam (if it's running!)<object width="320" height="288"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="sameDomain" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="false" /><param name="movie" value="http://www.eyespyfx.mobi:8080/webcams/webcam_blank.swf" /><param name="FlashVars" value="host=www.eyespyfx.mobi&port=8080&id=295866a1cd7e7de5c219a4f0a2298911&path=webcams" /><embed allowScriptAccess="sameDomain" allowFullScreen="false" FlashVars="host=www.eyespyfx.mobi&port=8080&id=295866a1cd7e7de5c219a4f0a2298911&path=webcams" height="288" src="http://www.eyespyfx.mobi:8080/webcams/webcam_blank.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="320" /></object>HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-80423222611313421702009-08-14T09:19:00.010+01:002011-02-17T10:59:29.013+00:00Les Paul - cheers, mate.Just heard he's died. Here's a lovely little movie:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/AP7qI5RVtxw?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br />
<br />
The guitar was actually out of production when Eric Clapton recorded this <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/oeywuMDq1ys?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br />
with John Mayall - a year or so later it became the biggest selling guitar of all time. Have a listen - at 0:57 you start hearing something no-one had used before; feedback. A killer signature lick at 1:11 and then from 1:22 a solo that still brings the hair on the back of your arms to attention. <br />
<br />
Cheers, mate. We owe you.HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-64547719281790629142009-07-03T12:59:00.001+01:002009-07-03T13:00:43.084+01:00Why boys need their parents - part 5 of an occasional seriesor: "More fun with electricity"!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbmRZQaKqp-wVesfwHoi1FztVEiYruQplLNFmkZAN7RVDfDL6X10M7kpUSRz6AvertnouZM2Ok__rPNkpFryNst57XWe0-QDJk5fpFJE_nGcBU5w8Bi0f2hu4xpNHOB9rTGDb-HoKZ7bk/s1600-h/Electricity.bmp"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 277px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbmRZQaKqp-wVesfwHoi1FztVEiYruQplLNFmkZAN7RVDfDL6X10M7kpUSRz6AvertnouZM2Ok__rPNkpFryNst57XWe0-QDJk5fpFJE_nGcBU5w8Bi0f2hu4xpNHOB9rTGDb-HoKZ7bk/s320/Electricity.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354202499780411218" /></a>HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-81156895440981604792009-07-03T12:52:00.004+01:002009-07-03T12:58:56.527+01:00Holy shit/fun with electricityI'm doing up the kitchen. <br />This of necessity involves loads of hacking and destruction, which is nice.<br />Part of said hacking has included removing the old floor and wall units and chipping off of tiles; behind one of the floor units was a mains socket suppying power to the downlighting from the wall units.<br />Having removed the units and tiles, here's how I found the socket had been wired in:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-DQG0AM-pmJaSw7zfzfgaNSrLOGvOFMeooAdwquYT_z6z9wapKA3ta1npjHz7wfDS2su7ELmcjIC9dcGdITT2tG5EEyhpI-nwFTUa9OIh19oeG1nbkEMyh3ICJhHGSJ-cpimSd7TLdy4/s1600-h/100_3089.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-DQG0AM-pmJaSw7zfzfgaNSrLOGvOFMeooAdwquYT_z6z9wapKA3ta1npjHz7wfDS2su7ELmcjIC9dcGdITT2tG5EEyhpI-nwFTUa9OIh19oeG1nbkEMyh3ICJhHGSJ-cpimSd7TLdy4/s320/100_3089.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354201482392979522" /></a><br /><br />Nice, eh!HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-75625823548941273532009-06-11T12:37:00.002+01:002009-06-11T12:41:31.397+01:00Footballers are *so* gay - Part 3<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfMRpFDS_ulZKeR3AlCSMPlpe4dMdhuWIPIZyPIE0ABdCaleQTG5_YF_RclQonawVkBDxfB2kXmEWpbl1qA-QwzpUyYYSBKfRPvg1ZPxlj5g9LSKZnEHCq6qV7YDH1Xa9iJ00ppkPYd1E/s1600-h/thigh.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 242px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfMRpFDS_ulZKeR3AlCSMPlpe4dMdhuWIPIZyPIE0ABdCaleQTG5_YF_RclQonawVkBDxfB2kXmEWpbl1qA-QwzpUyYYSBKfRPvg1ZPxlj5g9LSKZnEHCq6qV7YDH1Xa9iJ00ppkPYd1E/s320/thigh.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5346033639682480962" /></a><br /><br />What bastard is wearing Rosa Klebb's boots?HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-44634966101249234012009-06-11T12:34:00.002+01:002009-06-11T12:36:25.018+01:00Holy shit it's only a sodding CARPET FFS!Just had a geezer round to measure up our hallway for a new carpet. £963!!!!! Nine sodding hundred and sixty three bloody quid! For a carpet! A CARPET FFS!<br />Bloody bleeding bloody hell.<br /><br />Where's the Jim Beam?HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-26276096226596817042009-06-05T09:43:00.002+01:002009-06-05T09:45:15.374+01:00Why boys need their parents - Part 4 of an occasional series<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg46p4tNAZ5b7dpqaUBSzqo2BMdD76Cp246zJbwXqO7W5mhoogPFejCcGwrsw2C3GngmCFzqhTlWBnAruricT7oJfRpcKZ8XnXrHwimdJhMXwnFnz-wZ60ut_8iRqRwEr5LTq8qrmaKQHQ/s1600-h/Kotex.bmp"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 171px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg46p4tNAZ5b7dpqaUBSzqo2BMdD76Cp246zJbwXqO7W5mhoogPFejCcGwrsw2C3GngmCFzqhTlWBnAruricT7oJfRpcKZ8XnXrHwimdJhMXwnFnz-wZ60ut_8iRqRwEr5LTq8qrmaKQHQ/s320/Kotex.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343761728106507650" /></a><br /><br />What? What?HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-11375266108702945742009-06-05T09:39:00.003+01:002009-06-05T09:42:29.675+01:00Oi!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT44HTFlOQPUil_3ctbCTHnqpS0Rl2a9CFxIWkJmtEX_FrmJeah4xoNkKRcz6nj4JSzFZ6-mukRrwKMPNQAdX9XWQ3dLYAK3RoM9WIqkQSQQxsxMdha2EUtqRGcu8mvCyV4dpaCI1tJmE/s1600-h/Oi.bmp"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 212px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT44HTFlOQPUil_3ctbCTHnqpS0Rl2a9CFxIWkJmtEX_FrmJeah4xoNkKRcz6nj4JSzFZ6-mukRrwKMPNQAdX9XWQ3dLYAK3RoM9WIqkQSQQxsxMdha2EUtqRGcu8mvCyV4dpaCI1tJmE/s320/Oi.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343760753473201602" /></a><br />Fuck off, that's mine!<br /><br />(Found on Daily Mail online)HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-66050828858543112882009-05-22T11:17:00.003+01:002009-05-22T11:19:05.801+01:00Bloody hell. MOT pass - first time! That's 2 years in a row!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKVO30Xdp2WwRMTubjbO3kCqhklKPFQMponjAI9sEXqj4PkMnlKYeRZ9Bg7cZhKqvcyYX1VYTDZBlOUEgONm6pI3tc1CWo7sxXw4k4EthGnVChg-uxvZtqae0stqIAb3hAVTJ3yUrmXmI/s1600-h/Bike+002.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKVO30Xdp2WwRMTubjbO3kCqhklKPFQMponjAI9sEXqj4PkMnlKYeRZ9Bg7cZhKqvcyYX1VYTDZBlOUEgONm6pI3tc1CWo7sxXw4k4EthGnVChg-uxvZtqae0stqIAb3hAVTJ3yUrmXmI/s320/Bike+002.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338590584206140050" /></a><br />"Although the exhaust is a little noisy, sir".<br><br />Yes. That would be because it's a FUCKING HARLEY!<br><br />Poof.HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-24756934714872829542009-05-22T09:25:00.002+01:002009-05-22T09:26:11.232+01:00Bloody footballers are *so* gay - part 2<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitXALWLEmAENlZ0cadjLiZnTMp27pX4akM9KnNilhfMVyRIe1i1eSdhTSJSc_Z6I0PZRCEH2KG2dut348WtPMbnuN_PmuLLisv4YWpIuuE5Dau9Yq7dEPcr18oZKew7TGQSunVIOrSjis/s1600-h/ankle.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 257px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitXALWLEmAENlZ0cadjLiZnTMp27pX4akM9KnNilhfMVyRIe1i1eSdhTSJSc_Z6I0PZRCEH2KG2dut348WtPMbnuN_PmuLLisv4YWpIuuE5Dau9Yq7dEPcr18oZKew7TGQSunVIOrSjis/s320/ankle.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338561689078097250" /></a><br /><br />Useful for those "swerving" free kicks.HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-74047931409039469022009-05-22T09:16:00.002+01:002009-05-22T09:17:16.847+01:00Why boys need their parents - part 3 of an occasional series<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzwUebX6hf98uKwP-SqFsSclqj_ETM6bUVPboNFlQjxApQAvVR1LJw2YXjdkXVrON3LfavGTNgyOvBKsJTYK7CdcpGz42I-2WcZKnMqIfVkw_8T4Xpg_caFOj0NZCxSMxvQ9ySqtcqpo4/s1600-h/Frog.bmp"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 229px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzwUebX6hf98uKwP-SqFsSclqj_ETM6bUVPboNFlQjxApQAvVR1LJw2YXjdkXVrON3LfavGTNgyOvBKsJTYK7CdcpGz42I-2WcZKnMqIfVkw_8T4Xpg_caFOj0NZCxSMxvQ9ySqtcqpo4/s320/Frog.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338559413669590626" /></a>HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-11156012103513945262009-05-21T23:01:00.002+01:002009-05-21T23:02:40.332+01:00Bloody footballers are just *so* gay....<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv8AAOHUKk1EP-0V2JCmJhD_iM9a0N-_uvJeeqnCpgxpM-SUuH1UTao2Tj_aANcCZmT-wTldl6Jqqi4AVDH6M_qhPEB-Tf_Ki5Xg7ZpIU4pvjslSPpahi_H7KqSOz1P7IP4JDF4Gx9tQ8/s1600-h/footy.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv8AAOHUKk1EP-0V2JCmJhD_iM9a0N-_uvJeeqnCpgxpM-SUuH1UTao2Tj_aANcCZmT-wTldl6Jqqi4AVDH6M_qhPEB-Tf_Ki5Xg7ZpIU4pvjslSPpahi_H7KqSOz1P7IP4JDF4Gx9tQ8/s320/footy.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338400916454361842" /></a><br /><br />Bet he wanted a month off with pay, too. Tart.HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182022705272185396.post-71912672159194967952009-05-18T13:44:00.001+01:002009-12-23T12:00:13.156+00:00Eco BollocksI spent a dirty couple of hours on Saturday on my hands and knees wearing Marigolds, in all the way up to my elbow.<br />Bloody blocked drains. <br />We live in a basement flat of a typical 1860's Victorian 6-storey block; hence all the water drainage from the flats above feed into a couple of drains at the rear of the property. Three months ago I had to clear one of these as it was draining only very slowly, wouldn't even clear with two applications of Caustic Soda. Eventually we extracted from it a grey-white fatty plug about the size of a melon, which had a consistency somewhat like tallowfat candlewax, by forcing a whippy metal cleaning rod round the S-trap and shoving it down into the manhole downstream. <br />We had a similar problem on Saturday with the other drain, except this time (sorry if you've just had lunch) the blockage had more the consistency of Nivea or Flora and was a rank, fetid smelling black/grey sludge - hence the Marigolds.<br />Both these drains are domestic water waste, not sewerage (thank goodness) and come from a variety of sinks (bathroom and kitchen) and washing machine outlets.<br />In neither case did the stuff seem to have food debris in it and didn't have a foody smell so what was the culprit?<br />Well, having a check around a few plumbing websites it seems that the problem is being seen more and more frequently lately, and seems to be down to a couple of possible causes: the recent trend towards "Eco-friendly" low temperature washes (30 degrees and less) and "Eco-Balls". The problem being that the low temperature wash doesn't dissolve body dirt and grease and food fat, but instead just lifts it into suspension and it is then just deposited into the pipes after the washing machine, and the "Eco-Balls" are used without detergents at all and so don't even try to dissolve the fatty stuff.<br />It seems that many plumbers are now being called out to clear just this sort of blockage, with the attendant problem that the gunk is rank with bacteria (hence the foul smells) and the black mould being found inside washing machine door seals. Apparently most instruction manuals state somewhere that it is necessary to run a high temperature (greater than 60 degree) wash once a month to alleviate potential problems but most people are so hooked on their green credentials that they don't bother.<br /><br />No reason for this post, really, apart from a bit of a rant.<br /><br />Eco-Balls? Never a truer product name!HeartAttackSurvivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00595705892351194000noreply@blogger.com0