Thursday, 19 November 2009

Booze News

Choice quotes:
"For those drinking little - less than a shot of vodka a day for instance - the risk was reduced by 35%. And for those who drank anything from three shots to more than 11 shots each day, the risk worked out an average of 50% less."

I see no limit on the "more than 11....", which is nice.

The type of alcohol drunk did not seem to make a difference, but protection was greater for those drinking moderate to high amounts of varied drinks. "
So, go get steamed. Mix 'em, it's good for you. Lovely!

Shame the distaff side don't reap the benefits of a good bender, though:

"The same benefits were not seen in women"

Oh. But that's ok because:
"[they] suffer fewer heart problems than men to start with. Researchers speculated this difference could be down to the fact that women process alcohol differently, and that female hormones protect against the disease in younger age groups."
So, smug points +100 but hey, hormones or alcohol? Hmmm I know which I'd rather be saddled with...

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

Thoughts on Women

If I knew the source of this list, I'd tell you. If you do, let me know and I'll attribute it.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.


Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.


You know that look women get in their eye when they want sex? Me neither.

Steve Martin

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.


"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Henry Youngman

The only food that permanently destroys a woman's sex drive? Wedding cake.

Anon Jewish proverb

“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.”

P.J. O’Rourke

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.


The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...


You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henry Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.


A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."


First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."


Wednesday, 4 November 2009

Oh the Iron(y)*

The missus went over to NornIron last week for a few days to cat-sit for a friend.
Having a troll around the rather lovely Banbridge, she spotted this sign in Tourist Information which I think probably means something different now from what it may have done back in the day...

* See what I did there?